The Well of Lost Plots

...First there was OralTrad, upgraded ten thousand years later by the rhyming (for easier recall) OralTradPlus. For thousands of years this was the only Story Operating System and it is still in use today. The system branched in two about twenty thousand years ago ; on one side with CaveDaubPro) forerunner of PaintplusV2.3, GrecianUrnV1.2 SculptMarble V1.4 and the latest all encompassing SuperArtisticExpression-5). The other strand, the Picto-Phonetic Storytelling Systems, started with ClayTablet V2.1 and went through several competing systems (WaxTablet, Papyrus, VelliumPlus before merging into the award winning SCROLL, which was upgraded eight times to V3.3 before being swept aside by the all-new and clearly superior BOOK V1. Stable, easy to store and transport, compact and with a workable index, BOOK led the way for nearly eighteen hundred years...

'Good. Item seven. The had had and that that problem. Lady Cavendish, weren't you working on this?' // Lady Cavendish stood up and gathered her thoughts. // 'Indeed. The use of had had and that that has to be strictly controlled; they can interrupt the ImaginoTransference quite dramatically, causing readers to go back over the sentence in confusion, something we try to avoid.' // 'Go on.' // 'It's mostly an unlicensed usage problem. At the last count David Copperfield alone had had had had sixty-three times, all but then unapproved. Pilgrim's Progress may also be a problem owing to its had had / that that ratio.' // 'So what's the problem in Progress?' // 'That that had that that ten times but had had had had only thrice. Increased had had usage had had to be overlooked but not if the number exceeds that that that usage.' // 'Hmm,' said the Bellman. 'I thought had had had had TGC's approval for use in Dickens? What's the problem?' // 'Take the first had had and that that in the book by way of example,' explained Lady Cavendish. 'You would have thought that that first had had had had good occasion to be seen as had, had you not? Had had had approval but had had had not; equally it is true to say that that that that had had approval but that that other that that had not.' // 'So the problem with that other that that was that--?' // 'That that other-other that that had had approval.' // 'Okay,' said the Bellman, whose head was in danger of falling apart like a chocolate orange, 'let me get this straight: David Copperfield, unlike Pilgrim's Progress, which had had had, had had had had. Had had had had TGC's approval?' // There was a very long pause. // 'Right,' said the Bellman with a sigh. 'That's it for the moment...'

"Well, Mother was very upset about it and I think you should apologize."
"Okay, next time -- wait a moment, I'm dead -- I can't apologize to anyone. You apologize for me."

"Accept with good grace that which is given with good grace."